A list of system questions from:
Plural Ettiquette Questionnaire 🡕
I got bored at work so... here we go. lol. Jay (our body) is answering the questions.
[one] What do you go by collectively? (a system name, a shared username, group pronouns... etc)
Jay or Jayden (the body's name). The Cage or Cage (for short). Our group pronouns are they / them but we don't expect anyone to be immediately comfortable when interacting with us as a system so you can just default to addressing us as Jay. I use he, she, they pronouns. Pick your poison.
[two] How should people refer to you? (should people address individual members whenever possible, or would you rather be referred to collectively, etc)
As Jay or The Cage. Preference is going to depend on the headmate and the people who are interacting with us. It takes a while for the system to warm to others.
If this happens, please respect their boundaries. Thanks.
[three] What terms do you prefer for referring to yourselves as individuals(headmate/alter/system member/...), or as a group (system/collective/household/...)? Is there any other terminology for yourselves or aspects of your experience that you use and want people to know, or that you dislike and want people to avoid when talking about you?
Terminology is going to depend on context and what we're talking about. We're slowly getting away from medical terms but it's still useful for communication and educational purposes.
However, we don't personally use words such as: plural, multiple, you&, collective or any variation of these words. It's cool if you do, it's just not for us. Just address us like a normal person. "System", "group", or "family" works too.
We don't have a host and we don't like the term. We do have frequent fronters and the body isn't one of them.
[four] Who in your system are people most likely to interact with? (names, pronouns, short Twitter-esque bios, etc)
Our most frequent fronters as of typing this are: Minato, Nines, Nahobino or Kei, Demi, and Nier.
Minato is our system manager and one of our protectors. He's almost always around in co-con. He is basically the first boss you're gonna fight in a video game. He'll also return as a final boss later in the same video game but bigger and stronger. You'll have to get through him before you can go through anybody else.
[Minato]> :3
You can view our bios by clicking the "system" button.
[five] Will people be interacting with any child members? How should they treat them? Is there anything they should know when interacting with them?
Preferably that's a "no" but... I'm also not here to completely block them from wanting to socialize with others. But if an alter isnt on our member list then assume that they don't wish to be known publicly.
[six] Are there any system members who are nonverbal or otherwise have difficulty communicating? What should others expect when speaking with them? (having other system members translate, can speak normally over text but will need accommodation over voice, etc)
Yes but it's an autism thing. We get overwhelmed or exhausted or tired and we might not want to speak. In super stressful situations, it might be difficult or painful to speak (speaking in very few, chopped-up words).
I don't know what headmates will do during times like this so I'll just leave it up to them.
In the case of being overwhelmed, they usually don't want to be bothered. So they won't talk, won't front, and somebody else might be there instead.
Texting is much easier but we hardly have the energy to text during times like this.
Basically, we'll just fuck-off from everyone unless it's something important that demands our attention.
[seven] What should people do if they don't know who's at front?
Nothing... lol. Just keep calling us Jay.
Like I said, it takes a while for our members to get acquainted with everyone and the environment. Annnddd... unless you know us well, it's unlikely you'll be able to spot a switch or anything like that. We'll probably just come off as "moody".
You can reference our "fronter" tracker on this website but it's not always going to be accurate. Switching is usually too frequent or too fast throughout the day, sometimes we get blurry, everybody is mostly co-consciousness so there's actually multiple people circulating in the front space, some other crap... Really, don't worry about it lmao.
It's not like I know who's fronting half the time either, lmao.
[eight] Is it okay for people to ask if they can talk to someone who isn't at front at the moment?
Yes but I'm not going to be able to control how they will react. We have ground rules but please respect boundaries.
[nine] If someone talks to one of you, will other system members be aware of the conversation? Will they be actively watching, or just able to remember it later?
Usually somebody knows but it depends. Memory is all over the place. It's easy to block memories just as much as it is to share them amongst the system.
Communicate with us if you have any concerns.
[ten] Adding onto the above – if multiple system members will be aware of a conversation, will they want to chime in? If someone wants to speak to a system member one-on-one, what expectations can they have and how should they communicate this? (for example, it may not be possible to block everyone out but they can try to pay attention to something else and not interrupt)
While talking to us, you'll soon learn that one of the worst things about us is that everybody has to say something. We are very bad with allowing one fucking person to speak (joking tone). We talk amongst ourselves a lot and barge into conversations all willy-nilly and very autistic-ly. It's bad and it's overwhelming. Not to us, mind you... But to the person listening, I'm sure.
Asking if you want to speak one-on-one or asking for us to slow down should be fine. During one-and-one conversations, an alter will block out the rest of the headspace by enclosing themselves in an area that's completely black / dark. It's not a guarantee but it works for the most part.
[eleven] How out are you? What should people do when talking to people who don't know you're plural? (do you have a “singletsona” name and pronouns they should use; can they talk about knowing someone who's plural in nonspecific terms, without naming you; etc)
Only to people that we feel comfortable being out with. We are officially diagnosed.
No "singletsona" or anything like that because the idea triggers our dissociation. Our wolf character on the main site is representative of having DID but they are not a "singletsona" or a "systemsona" and is just a regular fursona. They have their own identity, name, and story.
"What you see is what you get! Just a guy who loves adve-"
If you want to mention us just call us Jay.
[twelve] Do you have any internal communication difficulties, memory issues, switch triggers, etc that others should be mindful of?
We have all of the difficulties you can possibly think of a DID, large polyfragmented system but we also have very strong internal and external communication (something that I'm sure the planets had to align themselves for. We are truly blessed). That doesn't mean that we're perfect though. Far from it.
We don't feel comfortable publicly sharing any of our triggers be it positive or negative. But anybody can be triggered to the front for any reason, along with being suddenly front stuck so we wouldn't have a consistent list for you anyways.
[thirteen] Your stance on being asked questions? (about personal experience, preferences, plurality in general, etc)
We love sharing experiences and information but if we're withholding any details then it's for a reason.
[fourteen] Is there anything else others should know?
A lot of us are blunt with responses (it's the autism I'm sure).
Minato is kinda a sarcastic asshole (we like to play / joke around a lot).
And… treat everyone like a person. Our introjects don't like to be personally called introjects (or fictives). They might be loosely tied to their sources but they are ultimately their own people.
Don't be afraid to let anybody know if we're interacting in a way that makes you uncomfortable. Even if you're just talking to the body, somebody in the system will likely get your message. If not, then we can discuss things in a another way.
We are a very large and dissociative system. We make it work but situations such as "autopiloting" or "nobody fronting" can happen. If we're having a really bad dissociative episode to the point where we can barely interact with anybody then we'll let you know about it and we'll likely leave the conversation to go chill.
We have experimented with fusion before and we will talk about fusion. If that makes you uncomfortable then you probably don't want to interact with us.
We want to stay as a system but sometimes fusion helps strengthen our relationship with one another. So yeah... don't take any misinformation or dramatic fears surrounding fusion lightly. It was that fear that kept us from wanting to fuse in the first place.
We are not alterhuman or otherkin. There are no "source calls", "cannonmates", or "doubles".
The body is 28 years old as of typing this.
Thank you for reading and have a great day and if not, then I hope it gets better.
