~ End of August
So... Its the end of August. maybe I'll try a monthly recap thing?
So yeah, I change my journal into a smaller blogging page. Well, now I changed the layout to look more tumblr-y. I'll add more to it. Decorating pages is hard lol. Looking at my previous journal entries makes me cringe every time.
Also, there's not a lot happening right now. I have health issues so i'm mostly at home at the moment. I'll be getting an MRI soon so that my doctor can determine the next steps. It is a situation that'll require a procedure but which is the best procedure is the question. I don't want to say anything about it until I get my MRI because my insurance was giving me grief for a while. My doctor's requests got denied one after another until now lol.
I started reading about Buddhism online and attended my first few services at the local temple. The spiritual path has been very rewarding thus far. It's even helping my art a little bit. I watch livestreams too so I'll start doodling some of the speakers lol. Really quick doodles since it's hard to draw something while its in motion. I vaguely remember my art teacher talking about that back in high school.
I switched laptops and lost my Clip Studio Paint license. I can still use my other laptop for CSP but eh, here's an excuse to try something new. I started working with Krita and I actually like it so far. It's been a while since I've used any of my OCs. It feels embarassing plastering them on our website but they are our characters lol. The characters went through some kind of mental hiatus. Time passes, things change, and we didn't know what to do with our characters for the longest time until now, I guess. The dude above is Nimbus.
I began a massive cleaning project in my room. Maybe I'll talk about it some other time but basically, I have a mild hoarding problem (turns out the behavior runs in some members of the family too). Hoarding is different from collecting. My actual collection is in a good place. Everything else is not. lol. I've taken a bit of pride being surrounded by my "favorite things" but now, having all those same things laid out in front of me like cards on a table, I want -less- of it. I think that's a good thing.
I am actually doing alright, all things considered. Not perfect, still have problems, but I'm doing okay. I feel like I'm living two different lives. I mean that more figuratively and not referencing my dissociation. All of the stuff I mentioned + what's going on with the world. My life improvements feel small and pointless. I feel like there's so much that I have to undo or fix in my life and who knows if I'll be able to fix everything or if I have the time to tackle it all. In addition to feeling overwhelmed, I also feel existential and depressed. But I dunno... it's either try to do something or continue to rot and I've been rotting for far too long.
A part of me is like, Man, I should find another therapist... but oh my god, the mental system has not been to kind to me / us. I'm not against the mental health system, I think I have really bad luck with it lmao. I have my own thoughts about it, I guess.
Here's to September. Many blessings.
31_08_2025 9:31PM
~ NieR Formism Figures
Nier and Kaine formism figures are coming out. There's a lot of Nier merch this year, maybe I should wait. I am looking forward to Nier Replicant scale or Flare figures in the future (I doubt it's going to happen :D). He looks kinda short and a user pointed out a defect that I didn't catch at first. You can compare the difference with my Nier Kuji figure below.
I agree that his face looks better than the Kuji figure (I don't hate it though). But yeah, I'll probably sit the formism figures out. I have the Nahobino formisms figure and that one turned out better than the pictures, in my opinion. So... I dunno.
For the website, I'm working on my interests page. I finally have a layout that I think is good for now. I hope you're ready for autism infodump because I'm not LOL.
24_08_2025 3:34PM
~ It's Hot
Telling family that you want to keep the blinds in the house closed during the summer, not open them. Keeps the sun from getting through and the house gets cooler. Especially since we can't use air conditioning that much. There's the idea that you should open all windows, doors, and wear t-shirts and shorts when it's hot but it also might be better (if possible) to cover up because that blocks the heat (or UVs) more directly. Of course, that can also depend on what you're wearing lol *glares at my all black clothing*
22_08_2025 12:16PM